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Audio autopsy

Audio Autopsy - January 2011

01/01/11  ||  Global Domination

Hate: Erebos Hate: Erebos

7.4/10

Lord K: Hate leave nothing to chance. The production is crystal clear, everything is quantized to perfection and the quality of “Erebos” is not to fuck with. This is as modern and flawless as death metal can be in these times. As we all know, Poland’s got its death metal down to the core. Easily the best album in the first AA of 2011. Still, Lost Soul’s latest offering, “Immerse in infinity”, is yet to be beaten. 8

InquisitorGeneralis: Polish people are metal machines. This is not as awesome as other heavy hitting Poledeath like Decapitated, Behemoth, and the almighty Vader but it’s pretty fucking good, extreme death metal. Me likes. 7

Habakuk: It’s just astonishing that literally all second tier Polish death metal bands sound like Vader or, like in this case, Behemoth. An incredibly blatant rip-off, but that aside, this is some high quality shit! 8

CadenZ: Behemoth wannabes no. 1. Not as good as their originators, but still enjoyable Polish death. 7

Altmer: Behemoth lite. Yes, they are from Poland. Yes, they’re not as good. No, they’re still more than all right. Yes, that means they get a good grade. 7

Impaled Nazarene: Road to the octagon Impaled Nazarene: Road to the octagon

6.8/10

Lord K: Best song title of this edition goes to Imp Naz’s “Gag reflex”. It makes me think of all of your moms. I was never into these guys’ punkish’n‘thrashing deathrash metal and “Road to the octagon” is not going to change that. Still a huge “Kippis!” to bassist Arc for being one of the coolest fuckers I know. 5

InquisitorGeneralis: Decent thrashy, deathy black metal stuff going on here. I am not thrilled by the production though. Smells like Aura Noir a bit. 6

Habakuk: Less black and more ripping thrash metal than I expected. Easily the most vicious album in this edition, and pretty damn great. 8

CadenZ: Kicking ass for two centuries, Luttinen & co never let down their guard, but pummel us blue with raw punkish and blackish metal. 7

Altmer: Black metal. There’s some other influences, sure: I detect some punk and grindcore influence, but without the obvious “chaos” that comes along with that. In other words, if a Black Man met a Woman that Grinded him to the core, their babies would emit high-pitched screams just like the singer for this band. In other other words, this album rules. Also, nice Darkthrone nod on “Gag reflex”. Now, can you tell that band to copy your production and we’re all set. 8

Atheist: Jupiter Atheist: Jupiter

6.4/10

Lord K: I always loved Atheist, especially the 2 first albums (just like everyone else). On “Jupiter”, Kelly’s vocals are not what they used to be, but the music sure holds up quite well. Steve’s drumming is always a joy to listen to (not to mention the one super integral part of the band) and at times moments of old classic Atheist shine through, though “Jupiter” is (ofcourse) no “Piece of time” or “Unquestionable presence”. I don’t think anyone within their right minds expected that anyways. 6

InquisitorGeneralis: After seeing Atheist live multiple times and now checking out this most recent album, I’m still not blown away by this band. There are some cool, technical moments on here but the vocals are no good and several of the songs just don’t flow very well. The band obviously has the chops and I think this will grow on me. But for now, “Jupipenis” is good but not great. 6

Habakuk: Very impressive, but there aren’t enough parts that get me hooked among the fiddlediddlegiddlewiggiwiggijazz. There are some, but the great, weird grooves in those are outweighed a bit by the rest. 6

CadenZ: An almost crotch-pleasing return from these tech death dinosaurs. It’s good, but after a while I zone off and my eyes go all red. You know, like the omnipresent storm on Jupiter. 7

Altmer: Since I did a regular review of this album already, there’s no need for me to say more than one sentence or so. What it boils down to is that this album is an updated take on their earlier material, but with way worse vocals and slightly more chaotic songwriting. 7

Forbidden: Omega wave Forbidden: Omega wave

6/10

Lord K: One of my all-time fave thrash bands return with “Omega wave”. Forbidden’s never released a weak effort and this one is no exception. Vocalist Russ Anderson’s vocals sound exactly as awesome as they did back in the day (as opposed to another re-united band in this edition) and Forbidden’s thrash is as competent as you’d expect. “Omega wave” is not astonishing, but it is a fine modern thrash piece. This reminds me it’s been too long since I listened to one of the best albums ever – “Twisted into form”. Time to rectify that. 7

InquisitorGeneralis: Good thrash-sounding stuff here that is brought down by the vocals. I like the band, but the singer needs to go. 5

Habakuk: As much as I’d want to like this, it’s just modern, heavified thrash from a band that still likes falsetto. Back to “Chalice of blood”! 5

CadenZ: Understatement of the year: good new thrash records don’t pop up as often nowadays as they did during the latter half of the 1980’s. Forbidden still do their best to improve the quota. 7

Altmer: This band should be FORBIDDEN! MUAHAHAHAHAHA! Wait. I can’t do that. This above average thrash metal doesn’t really suck at all. The songs are a bit too long, but other than that it’s in the upper echelons of its genre. Too bad the record loses a lot of momentum because of the overly long runtime. 6

Motörhead: The world is yours Motörhead: The world is yours

6/10

Lord K: It’s Motörhead, you know. As irrelevant as always. That should rile you idiots up, no? 5

InquisitorGeneralis: Hot damn is the first song on here heavy and awesome. Things go down a bit after that but this is still good shit. Let the forum trolls debate this endlessly, you know it will happen. 7

Habakuk: I’m a bit underwhelmed, this should have been a safe winner. It’s similar in sound and feel to the awesome last three, and the groove is definitely strong, but the pace stays at two thirds of the established standard.
Pick it up, for fuck’s sake! The last track finally does that. 7

CadenZ: Jamming all the good songs in the beginning of an album is a wise decision, from a selling point of view. Musically speaking, not so much. According to one of my omniscient friends, one of the Infernal Arts of Production Values persuasion, this album is one of the most generic he’s ever heard. Generic as in fucken generic rock n’ roll AD 2010, which doesn’t sound like rock n’ roll whatsoever. No rock, no roll. After some discussion I have to agree. Somewhat. But Lemmy is still KING. 6

Altmer: What? Guys? Motörhead is still around? Why do these guys release records? I know they get lots of love around GD, but Motörhead are not my thing. This sounds like everything else they’ve ever done. Except worse. Or, as K is going to put it: “This sounds like Motörhead”. Fuck ‘em. 5

God Dethroned: Under the sign of the iron cross God Dethroned: Under the sign of the iron cross

5.8/10

Lord K: Brutal, thrashing, mayhemic death metal with blasts and whatnot – executed with precision and still something is missing. 6

InquisitorGeneralis: I really should like this World War One themed, death metal shit. But, I don’t. It is boring and repetitive. Sorry Goat Deboned, Hail of Bullets is doing this a lot better than you. There are a few good parts here and there but goddamn, the parts with clean vocals suck a bag of dicks. 4

Habakuk: This blast-heavy stuff sounds a lot like “Envenomened”-era Malevolent Creation or Swiss deathers Requiem, which I both dig. Add a generic World War I theme and the occasional semi-melody, and we’re set.7

CadenZ: Relentless death bashing. Nice energy, but very unoriginal and turns into a snoozefest after a couple of tracks. 6

Altmer: Thrashy death metal something. Not half bad, but I seriously doubt these guys are gonna win any awards for originality. The nice Behemoth influences are cool though. But overall, this is a tad too unfocused and… samey for me to really dig it. Also the clean vocals are stupid. 6

Electric Wizard: Black masses Electric Wizard: Black masses

5.4/10

Lord K: I think you have to be on serious amounts of dope to appreciate this. Then again, I am not sure even that will help in the end. 2

InquisitorGeneralis: For doped-out stoner retro stuff, this is not bad. The riffs and production make this interesting enough to not suck. 5

Habakuk: While there are other bands from the genre that have done just that, Electric Wizard’s stoner doom continues to fail at growing on me. Must try drugs. 6

CadenZ: Obscure hymns for the evenings and nights when you don’t see the world too clearly. In that state, I’d probably rate this at least a point higher. 6

Altmer: Stoner. This sounds like Black Sabbath with better vocals. That means that yes, if you like this genre (stoner doom) you have just acquired a new album to purchase. I don’t care that much about this genre, but for what this is it’s absolutely excellent, so the score should reflect it. I might even listen to it again. More than once. 8

Cradle Of Filth: Darkly, darkly, venus aversa Cradle Of Filth: Darkly, darkly, venus aversa

5.2/10

Lord K: I don’t know about Cradle… Every now and then they pull off some rather excellent stuff but most often they come across as a Disneyland black metal act. The best part, though, of today’s COF is the new hair-do of Dani (look to the far right). That is some groundbreaking, thinking outside-the-box supremacy. 5

InquisitorGeneralis: Horrible vocals? Check. Bad keyboards? Check. Black metal for pre-schoolers? Check. This blows. 2

Habakuk: I always dismissed these guys as complete crap, but this turns out to be okay. Soulless, but ok. Solidly executed, albeit commercialized grey metal with “orchestration” being a stylistic element, not the backbone of the music. 6

CadenZ: The diminutive fuckface and his minions are back. We should rip them a new one. Except, this album named by an imbecile isn’t actually too bad. There’s some urgency and passion in the arrangements, and nice riffage going on. Too bad their style isn’t my most precious cup of tea. 7

Altmer: I remember Dani Filth’s vocals being far more annoying than this. Maybe it’s just the first song. The album reminds me of a shittier version of Septic Flesh, without the idea that THEY DON’T NEED AN 80 MINUTE ALBUM. This would be so much better if they could actually condense this shit into 50 minutes. The songs are not that good. 6

Firewind: Days of defiance Firewind: Days of defiance

4.6/10

Lord K: Ozzy’s new butt-boy/guitarist Gus G’s “real” band is a competent melodic (half-power) metal thing that you have heard a million times before. If Firewind is the band Ozzy heard when he picked Gus to play with him (nasty, nasty) – then he’s more delusional than his appearance implies. And that says a lot. 5

InquisitorGeneralis: These Dio-wannabes can suck it. This is the month of shitty vocals, I am convinced. This features Ozzy new guitar dude, right? Normally I would say don’t quit for day job but shit everything that dude touches turns to shit. 3

Habakuk: Listenable, somewhat heavy power metal with vocals similar to Ripper Owens, complete with “Fire/Desire” rhymes but otherwise not going overboard into a sea of cheese. Decent, actually, I see how people would dig this. 5

CadenZ: Power metal. Nothing more, nothing less. 4

Altmer: Above average power metal. Don’t tell anybody I said this, but it’s extremely well-done for the very limited maneuvering space the genre leaves it. 6

Firebird: Double diamond Firebird: Double diamond

4.4/10

Lord K: The only reason this blues/rock act is included is becoz band leader Bill Steer used to play in some decent bands. It’s safe to say that Firebird isn’t exactly topping his past efforts. 3

InquisitorGeneralis: I like the bluesy twang to the songs but the singer almost ruins for me. This is decent hard that I can see myself listening to a bit more. 6

Habakuk: Wow, this is some incredibly tame US rock. A shame, there are decent, twangy riffs and everything, but it really sounds like Midlife Crisis OST. 4

CadenZ: Cowbell overload. I’m tired. 2

Altmer: Isn’t this the band of that Bill Steer guy who used to be in Carcass? I think he should continue with Carcass cos this is some tame old-school bluesy hard rock, and Carcass are just better. However as blues-rock a la Cream and such it’s pretty good, verging on great even. Yes, I like tame blues-rock. 7

Helloween: 7 sinners Helloween: 7 sinners

4.4/10

Lord K: Weak metal for kids aged 1-5. And this “new” singer is still no Kiske. 3

InquisitorGeneralis: I have never liked this band, even their supposed “classic” shit from the 80’s. The vocals are pooperafic and everything starts to sound the same after a few minutes. The band can play, but talent can only take you so far. 4

Habakuk: Just when I want to start typing “wow, this is a lot better than I thought”, they insert a flute solo! It’s symptomatic: this is actually quite good power/speed metal until they try to do something special. Most of the time, that special something turns out to be incredibly gay, basically. 6

CadenZ: Helloween surprise me with a slightly tougher slab. Power metal with (some) balls, who could guess! 6

Altmer: “Are you metal?” If you are, Helloween, then I am most fucking certainly not. 3

GWAR: Bloody pit of horror GWAR: Bloody pit of horror

3.4/10

Lord K: I can’t appreciate GWAR in any other setting than on a stage. The question is: can anyone? 3

InquisitorGeneralis: I am happy to see that GWAR is trying to keep things heavy these days. There is certainly nothing memorable or exciting going on though. This is just another reason to tour. 5

Habakuk: These songs sound like a very lame version of Municipal Waste, aren’t funny in the slightest, but overdone, annoying and redundant. I don’t see why this band needs to exist. 3

CadenZ: Bloody mess of shit, this mostly is. Even Yoda would say they suck. Or, “suck, they do”. 3

Altmer: If I was GWAR and had to use shitty masks to cover up for mediocre at best thrash metal with the worst vocals on this planet, I would have suicided instead of making this record. Fuck you all the way to your bloody horror pit and beyond. I hope you choke on a very small asparagus.3

Macabre: Grim scary tales Macabre: Grim scary tales

2.8/10

Lord K: Listen to the song “Lizzie Borden” and tell me this is some good shit. Actually, listen to any song off this album and tell me this is some good shit. This is not fun, it’ a fucken tragedy. 2

InquisitorGeneralis: Holy fucking hell enough with the terrible singing! The band does a decent job playing some thrashy, somewhat powery death metal, especially the drummer. I like the evil fairy tale theme but it sounds like this band has 5 different singers from bad clean to bad Luc from Gorguts… and they all suck. 4

Habakuk: These guys are tight, creative and bring good riffage, but the only thing that really works is a good old Venom cover. The vocals are just too annoying to make this enjoyable. 4

CadenZ: Grim scary tales my ass, grim scary tails is more like it, if these fuckers would ever come up with the brilliant idea of exposing themselves to the inspective lenses of Playgirl photographers. We hope this will not be reality anytime soon, not with them sounding like complete morons, trying to be Iron Maiden Hot Potato No. 1. 2

Altmer: Kermit the Frog-vocals and… shit metal combine to make a shit-pie. Note: do not make the drums overpower the rest of your music. It sounds like fucking ass. 2

Kid Rock: Born free Kid Rock: Born free

2/10

Lord K: I have no idea why this guy is held in such high regard within the American rock scene. I also have no idea why the fuck he’s in this edition for. At least it doesn’t suck in a Macabre-kind of way. 3

InquisitorGeneralis: I like “Devil Without a Cause”, especially the title track. Kid Rock needs to drop all this country shit and go back the hip-rock that made him famous. This sounds like a bad Waylon Jennings record. 4

Habakuk: I don’t know how much of a fucken redneck you have to be to enjoy this kind of “look-Ma-something-we-can-both-listen-to-in-the-car” feel-good rock, but I’m happy to announce I’m not there yet. 1

CadenZ: Kid Flaccid Cock was born free of brains and talent. He can go and try fuck the goats of Mendes with his Pfizer-yearning penis for all I care, I’ll never listen to this garbage again. 1

Altmer: I’m going to hunt down the one that decided to include this AOR nonsense on AA and decapitate him (or her) with a very blunt axe. Even sitting through one song is a pain. 1

Ill Nino: Dead new world Ill Nino: Dead new world

2/10

Lord K: Plague metal inbound! Someone please, please, fucken pleeeeease make this kind of music illegal. Fuck you. 2

InquisitorGeneralis: Ill Nono, this nu-metal wankery can suck mi pipi because it is terrible. Why did this band get back together? 2

Habakuk: Maybe it’ll be less boring if you stop sucking? 2

CadenZ: Modern US metal with zero penis power and annoying fucken congas and shit mixed all too high. I’ll quote Cannibal Corpse when I now undertake the task of reading your horoscope, Ill Pussies: “I. Will. Kill. You.” 2

Altmer: Hahaha. I don’t fucken think so, guys. Angsty nu-metal that was decent at best ten years ago, and by now… nope. I hope this lot of hijos de puta get eaten by rabid crocodiles. 2