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Audio autopsy

Audio Autopsy - September 2006

01/09/06  ||  Global Domination

Vader: Impressions in blood Vader: Impressions in blood

8.2 /10

Lord K: Quality + death metal = Vader. You know what you get and they know how to deliver. Vader cannot do half-assed things. 8

Ripper Bendix: Vader are probably the AC/DC of death metal because you’ll always know how they are gonna sound as soon as you pop the CD into your player. Yes, this is a very good thing because Vader always were, and remained, a fucken constant source of quality shit. This album is not a damn exception. 9

Rafal: The new album is everything you ever wanted from Vader. The heaviness and incredibly powerful riffs are just a base to something that only the Vader guys can create. One of the best death metal albums of the year, if not the best. 9

Desert Eagle: What do you expect from Vader? Three things; drums, awful solos, hard penis. This album has it all. Vader has churned out another slab of hard hitting death metal and it never lets up. Too bad it has all that aforementioned penis. 8

Syrrok: Now this is a fucken tune or two. Clear crushing vocals, excellent guitar lines and blasting drumming as always. I’m feeling stronger just listening to this. 7

The Abyss: Their strongest work since “Litany”, and overall some of the best death metal you can find right now (at least in this month’s AA). For further elaboration check out my review here. 8

Deicide: The stench of redemption Deicide: The stench of redemption

6.3 /10

Lord K: Exit: the Hoffman fucko’s. Enter: Some other semi-famous fucko’s. And for some reason it seems like it’s the injection this farse called Deicide needed. They sound better than in a long time. More melodic input with the solos and awesome vocals by Glenda, and in the long run this ends up being their strongest effort since “Serpents of the light”. 7

Ripper Bendix: Deicide mean to me about as much as a sack of fucken rice falling over in fucken China. Constant no-shows at their own gigs with numerous issues in many things they do and are. This album is quite good though and I can’t quite nag a lot about it because it kicks my ass. Kinda like Glenn Bentonpenis kicks the people in the front row. 8

Rafal: New Deicide is a good Deicide. They sound much more brutal and powerful this time and that can only count “in plus”. The groovy riff in “Death to Jesus” is just marvellous. 7

Desert Eagle: Wow, this has got to be the first album worth listening to since… uh, hmm… Deicide has finally put out an album worth listening to! To me this is like listening to a mini version of Vital Remains. The songs aren’t as long, or as good, the drumming isn’t quite as good, but damn do I like it. Glenn Benton still has one of the best voices in death metal. 8

Syrrok: Frustration arises from understanding, as a writer, that whatever you say about this will make ABSOLUTELY NO DIFFERENCE as to whether someone will buy this album or not. Deicide is Deicide, as Slayer is Slayer, on and on. Death metal and Satan. Popsicles and a warm summer’s day. 4

The Abyss: Never quite got around to liking Deicide. I think it was the combination of bad riffs, not-so-hot songwriting and a shitty growler. Oh, and no nostalgia whatsoever since I heard them for the first time in 2003. Lack of nostalgia has saved me from many bad bands (Dissection and Obituary comes to mind). I still don’t like Glen’s vocals, but this time the riffs sound a bit better. There’s still 1000 times better death bands out there, but at least Deicide aren’t totally useless anymore. 4

Terrorizer: Darker days ahead Terrorizer: Darker days ahead

5.8 /10

Lord K: Obviously no “World downfall”, as expected, but it works for most parts. The re-recording of “Dead shall rise” wasn’t really all that fucken necessary though. But hey, these guys knows what they are doing and Sandoval knows how to sport a fubar drumsound so… Read my real coverage of this album for more details. 7

Ripper Bendix: Sure, it’s no “World Downfall” but still this album manages to tear the fucken skin right off my fucken ass. Nobody needs the re-recording of “Dead Shall Rise” though. That song was perfect the first time around and shouldn’t be fucked with. 8

Rafal: The old farts still do it. And they do it good. It’s not as amazing as their debut but it’s tight shit nonetheless. 7

Desert Eagle: I heard around five or six songs before I realized anything was playing. This is by far the worst terror-related band of this edition. However, it didn’t totally suck or I would have noticed that too. It almost reminds me of Vader but slower and nowhere near as good. 5

Syrrok: One of the few bands on this AA that I actually think BELIEVE in what they are playing. We have seen hardcore all-for-show crap. Self-indulgent go-everywhere jazz metal fuckbucketness. This is at least as it seems. Terrorizer plays death metal. The vox and lyrics are laughable (“skeletal remains”?), but it’s death metal alright. They would do well opening for Subjectified Intestinal Defication. I’m not sure that’s a band but it is now. 3

The Abyss: Nowhere close to the asswhopping of “World downfall” but seriously, who expected as much? The drums sound horrible and stand out like a Sore Throat (sorry, nerdy grind-joke there) and unfortunately the guitars do anything but. In this AA: Terrorizer just can’t equal Napalm Death. 5

Napalm Death: Smear campaign Napalm Death: Smear campaign

5.8 /10

Lord K: Good ol’ fucken Napalm Death. It feels like they have been releasing 6000 albums the last years and I haven’t really paid attention. “Smear campaign” is another solid effort in typcial ND-fashion, but still it’s nothing I will play on a regular basis. I prefer “Harmony corruption” (and Shane’s magic hairdo) to anything The Napalm’s done. 6

Ripper Bendix: Never been a fan of Napalm Death and this album does nothing to change my opinion. Tough fucken luck. 5

Rafal: The last few albums showed that Napalm Death are still hungry for some insane music. This one is no exception. Fast and grinding, like a tank in your ass. 8

Desert Eagle: As much as I don’t want to say anything bad about this album, my brain, vis-a-vis my hands, refuses to let me say anything good about it either. So, let’s say some neutral things. This is an album. Napalm Death is a band. They utilize guitars. They are smelly. 6

Syrrok: Really old guys doing exactly what they love. Punk inspired death metal riffs in completely boring fashion. Never been into these guys, still not. The one thing I will point out about this album though is that there’s a monkey on it. Can you find it? 3

The Abyss: Hells yeah! Still going strong, and it seems the old grind-soldiers have found the perfect mix of melody, brutality and politics to keep Napalm Death a relevant grindband in the 21st century. 7

The Acacia Strain: The dead walk The Acacia Strain: The dead walk

5.5 /10

Lord K: I have made a real review of this one at this very site. Go find it, bitch. Leave me the fuck alone. 7

Ripper Bendix: Yup, the dead walk, all right… over there where the letters “Zombienomicon” are flashing. This might not be the reinvention of the wheel, but the groove of songs like “Angry Mob Justice” burns the hairs off my nutsack, and that’s pretty good. 7

Rafal: Helluva crazy death metal riffs served in the metalcore way. Totally fucked up music. It’s something to love or hate. 6

Desert Eagle: Brutal and heavy. Grooving and shuffling. It can only mean one thing: more metalcore! I’ll reiterate the heaviness since everyone seems to think that is terribly important. This is a great album though, all sarcasm aside. And any album that has lyrics that go “The thought of your genitals makes me sick!” will get an 8 from me. 8

Syrrok: With bands like this we’ll never get more chicks to metal shows. Thank Gannesh for Dragonforce. 1

The Abyss: Modern sounding metal with maybe some hints of Chimera and The Black Dahlia Murder (sans the clean vocals) that sounds ok. There’s nothing really wrong with The Acacia Strain, but I have a hard time getting into this modern American metal. In the end it’s just a “meh”. 4

Poisonblack: Stained despair Poisonblack: Stained despair

5.3 /10

Lord K: Just stay the fuck away from the pretentious cocksuckers known as Poisonblack. That’s a fucken order! 2

Ripper Bendix: I’m getting Devin Townsend/And Oceans vibes from some of that stuff. Soilwork, too. Good shit but it doesn’t stick out so much. But hey, sounding unique is probably even harder than coming up with good album titles. 7

Rafal: Ville Laihiala has voice that would make girls wet. His songs are kinda cheesy but sure are a good listen to anyone who still longs for Sentenced. 7

Desert Eagle: Sweet, Sentenced are back! My undying love for Sentenced will not let me give this band a lower score than 7 and don’t give me any outside help K! This is a decent album but mostly just makes me wish Sentenced didn’t break up. Sentenced, Sentenced, Sentenced. 7

Syrrok: I am big fan of “Sentenced”. I thought they were truly a unique and engaging musical outfit. “Poisonblack” is a definite step BACK for the singer dude from “Sentenced” in terms of originality and freshness. There are one or two cool sounding riffs on this thing, but most of it is background music for a basement goth bitch party. 4

The Abyss: So… Sentenced are dead and Ville promptly turns his sideproject Poisonblack into a copy of Sentenced but forgets to include the wonderful guitarmelodies and hooks? Do you think I’m gonna fall for this? 5

Slayer: Christ illusion Slayer: Christ illusion

5 /10

Lord K: When did Slayer last release something awesome? That’s right, in fucken 1990. Not even the return of Dave Lombardo can bring back the glory of old. 6

Ripper Bendix: The first two songs are very good, but raise false hopes about the rest of this album. This here is quite mediocre stuff and simply doesn’t kick the ass Slayer used to kick. They just didn’t manage the transition into a new, more modern style without losing what made them so fucken cool. Anyone can fucken see that, but short-haired mallrat wannabe tough-guys don’t listen to reason and will keep on yelling “SLAYYYEEEEER” at any opportunity, whether they are actually playing or not. 6

Rafal: Slayer are back with a new album. Oh my, nothing to go crazy about. The best years of the band are long gone. Unispiring thrash metal, that’s all about it. 5

Desert Eagle: Fuck Slayer. 2

Syrrok: This ALBUM is a big disappointment for me. SLAYER is NEVER a disappointment for me. See the difference? The guitars sound horrible on this one, and that sucks since they are pretty much the reason I picked up a guitar in the first place. But they’ll continue to do what they do and I’ll continue to support. 5

The Abyss: Slayer may never reclaim the crown of old, but I reckon they still keep even pace with many of today’s thrash metal bands. It’s just a shame that Tom Araya’s fucked up his voice. 6

Heaven Shall Burn: Deaf to our prayers Heaven Shall Burn: Deaf to our prayers

4.8 /10

Lord K: Well, fuck me with a 19” monitor, it’s another 3-word band. Guess what they sound like? Fuck off. 3

Ripper Bendix: Tastes like In Flames but kicks more ass and isn’t so playful. Can’t say that I am shitting myself with excitement here, but I also can’t say that I hate this stuff. 6

Rafal: They may be the heaviest band from the whole metalcore wave. Got some catchy riffs and blastbeat-parts going on and that’s fine. Just fine. 5

Desert Eagle: I really expected this to be some lame metalcore band but they really aren’t. They have more in common with melodic death than anything else. It’s quite good too! They have Riffs-a-Plenty™ and you all know I love that! Now if only they could sign up for www.awesomebadasssolos.com/fun then this would be perfect. 8

Syrrok: How dare these asses claim Amon Amarth as an influence! Any band who attempts to “shatter the boundaries that stood between the death metal and hardcore genres” can go eat a cupcake. There is a reason there IS a boundary. On one side of the boundary is home to all that is awesome – the ultimate blowjob. On the over side, well… Herpes. 2

The Abyss: Catchy metalcore, not as bad as alot of other things I’ve heard. Then again, the best metalcore-album will still only be 1/4 as interesting as watching Lemmy masturbate so hey, it’s all relative. 5

All Shall Perish: The price of existence All Shall Perish: The price of existence

4.8 /10

Lord K: Another 3-word band, probably Americans, judging from their sound. Just another fucken band that tries to do what At The Gates did a 1000 years ago. And also another band who fails miserably at it. All these fucken semi-metal bands must be erased from the map of metal. I don’t care if it’s well-played. I hate this shit with a passion. 3

Ripper Bendix: “Paint by Numbers” would’ve been a more fitting band name. 3

Rafal: If they cut out all the good parts from each song and did a little bit of mix, they would have a full-on metal album. So far, it’s just a listenable piece of core’o’metal that may not be up to everyone’s alley. 5

Desert Eagle: Out of all the three word core bands, this one is probably the best. They actually have some, well, interesting riffs. Also it’s pretty heavy and has totally sick pig-vocals, you guys. Oh, I should note that the drumming is FANTASTIC. But yeah, you will all hate it and probably haven’t read this far. Fuckers. 7

Syrrok: With open eyes, this one can be surprisingly tasty and delicious. The drumming consistency is enough to keep me around for a bit, and I appreciate the variation of the vocals. This release proves to be a lot more than the “BREAKDOWN! Everyone with a shaved head and wife-beater start throwin karate kicks!” -fest than I thought it would be. 5

The Abyss: Some nice aggressive metal with a good flow and varied growls. There’s some nods to metalcore here and there but All Shall Perish are still close enough to death metal to avoid the pitfall of Trend. 6

Hatebreed: Supremacy Hatebreed: Supremacy

4 /10

Lord K: I have hated Hatebreed ever since I first saw some ad’s for them on the net. I don’t know why, but I had a feeling what this would sound like, and whaddya know… I was right. Hardcore-ish metal that makes me hope that Hatbread will drown in a pool of Ron Jeremy’s back-hair. Very soon. 3

Ripper Bendix: The bandname is a description of what is going on inside my head right now. They sure got some nice melodies and shit going on, though. The rest is mostly aggressive antisocial outbursts that go on my nerves really fucken fast. 5

Rafal: I like hardcore at times. This band bring some good tunes and I can only appreciate that. Strong effort. 7

Desert Eagle: Is anyone really expecting Hatebreed to do well on this? 3

Syrrok: Reference what I said about Full Blown Chaos. Now multiply that by 10. 2

The Abyss: I hold Jamie Jasta & Co. solely responsible for the massive influx of shitty metalcore bands trying to mix death metal with breakdowns that has polluted the world for the past years. Hatebreed may be a notch above the rest but I still get awfully tired of the macho Bromance crap after 2½ songs. 4

Full Blown Chaos: Within the grasp of titans Full Blown Chaos: Within the grasp of titans

3.7 /10

Lord K: 3-word bands rule the world nowadays it seems. Luckily these bastards doesn’t suck as much as some others in this edition. Goddamn fucken chugga-riffs and blastbeats at the same time is not the best idea ever though, just so you guys know. Jump-da-fuck-up semi death metal of some sorts with some more pussy-parts thrown in that will never do them much good. It leaves me longing for some Blümchen. Then again, I always long for Blümchen. 5

Ripper Bendix: Reminded me instantly of Pantera and I always fucken hated Pantera. Therefore: NO SOUP FOR YOU! 4

Rafal: It sure is chaos but I’m not fully blown the fuck away. Mix of old death metal and core. Eatable. 4

Desert Eagle: Full Blown Penis suck huge sweaty chaos. The music is mediocre at best and the singer is trying his hardest to sound tough. Oh and the drums BLOW. WOW are they bad. 3

Syrrok: All hardcore bands have 3 word monikers. I’m sure you’ve noticed this by now but it’s annoying. This “rally round the bros” music, I just can’t get behind. I just don’t feel any truth to what these bands have to say. I don’t think they are being true to themselves. 3

The Abyss: I’m sure someone’s already beat me to the “Full blown penis”-joke so I’ll just say that this is hardcore. Like Hatebreed, but worse. 3

Sleep Terror: Probing tranquillity Sleep Terror: Probing tranquillity

3.5 /10

Lord K: Some of the riffs are fucken great and… well… some of the riffs are fucken great. The rest is just confusing and irritating. 3

Ripper Bendix: I almost stopped playing this before the overture had even finished. What started afterwards was a sonic clusterfuck of gargantuan proportions with stupid fucken songtitles and way too much fucken jazz, but thankfully no fucken vocals whatsoever. This shit is probably incredibly hard to play and demands skills from another planet and whatnot, but it doesn’t groove, doesn’t kick ass and is plain and simply a fucken pain in the dick. So why the effort? 1

Rafal: Motherfuckin’ crap. Don’t even try to check it out. 1

Desert Eagle: The Beheaded t-shirt/producer returns! I really don’t know what to say about this band. It sounds like a bunch of unrelated riffs and leads thrown together in each song. Granted most of those riffs are pretty sweet, overall the effect is rather jarring. 7

Syrrok: Apparently they list Matchbox 20 as one of their influences. As well as Britney Spears. Oh, and the vocals? Whaaa? Funk metal farting club no-vocals noise Mike Patton bullshit. 1

The Abyss: Ain’t it nice to be pleasantly surprised once in a while? When doing AA it’s pretty much the straw that enables me to breathe or I’d drown in the tons of -core mud that monthly washes up on the shores of Global Domination. This month it’s Sleep Terror who saves my sanity with their fantastic instrumental mix of grind, death and jazz. This is what Gorod would sound like if they fired their singer and wrote 2 minute songs. The whole album blends into one big song, but with a band like this, it fits perfectly. 8

Walls Of Jericho: With devils amongst us all Walls Of Jericho: With devils amongst us all

3.2 /10

Lord K: “Walls of Jericho” is a great album by Helloween. That’s all the space I’m wasting on these muthafucking thrash/hardcore clownshoes. 2

Ripper Bendix: The screamo vocals ruin fucken everything. If Toxine sang this shit it’d be a classic. 4

Rafal: I think the young hardcore-heads will worship the album, but I’m just pissing hot urine on it. 2

Desert Eagle: I wish WoJ wouldn’t take their own advice. They have a song on this album titled “Try.Fail.Repeat.” which is exactly what they’re doing. What they should have done is Try.Fail.Penis. That’d make us all happier I think. 3

Syrrok: I CAN’T STAND THIS WHINING BULLSHIT! THIS IS NOT METAL! 1

The Abyss: Angsty hardcore with some metal-shavings that doesn’t go emo on us? Sure,why not? The girl singing has a really nice desperate tone in her screams that I like: Full of kerosene and caustic soda. Think Karyn Crisis with extra malice. The music isn’t bad either. The bloodlines from the hardcore scene are stronger than those from the metal world, which is a good thing. 7

Odious Sanction: No motivation to live Odious Sanction: No motivation to live

2.8 /10

Lord K: A new experience, tis’un. A cup of Meshuggah, a cup of Sepultura, a cup of annoying vocals and last off a cup of bullshit and there you go: Odious Sanction. Congratulations. 4

Ripper Bendix: I have no motivation to live, either. Especially after listening to this. 2

Rafal: Located somewhere between metalcore and death metal, this band actually delivers the goods. A thin line of melody covered with utter need to produce cacophony. Some may like it, some not. 3

Desert Eagle: Odius Sanction? More like, PENIS Sanction! Ahahahah, get it? Of course you don’t, there’s nothing funny about that you idiot. Just like there is nothing funny, about black tar heroin. Watch out for that shit you guys. Seriously. 3

Syrrok: All that craziness and not a damn good tune. Can you imagine that? 2

The Abyss: Despite the death metal-sounding name, this is pretty standard metalcore in the end. Just like thousands of other bands. Very boring vocalist too. 3

Bloodshoteye: An unrelenting assault Bloodshoteye: An unrelenting assault

2.7 /10

Lord K: I wish for cum to be shot in these guys’ eyes. Is that a girl singing? Either way, he/she/it sucks. And so does their version of death metal or whatever the fuck they wanna label themselves as. 3

Ripper Bendix: Bloodshoteye are giving me a bloodshot ear. Not a good start into this month’s AA with two crappy bands right after another. 3

Rafal: I tried but couldn’t find anything to lay my ears upon. Boring, generic deathcore band, fronted by a chick. It does tell you everthing. 2

Desert Eagle: Did I just hear some bitch talking – TALKING?! – about society! That’s it, I’m outta here. 3

Syrrok: For a second I’ll forget that they have a song called “Lock n Load.” I wrote a song called “lock n load” (I didn’t come up with the title) about 2 years ago and, yes, I’m partial, but I think my riff is thunderously more than Bloodshoteye’s take. But narcicism aside, this band and this release are not good. I’m guessing we will not be reviewing this band again on AA. This is no Angela-level female vocalissa, for sure. 2

The Abyss: After 42 min of this I’m left with absolutely no recollection of how it sounds. I’ve also lost the feeling in my right leg. 3