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Class 6(66)

Manowar: Fighting the worlManowar: Fighting the world

29/05/06  ||  Statik Majik

Released: 1987

Introduction

!TEH LOUDEST BAND IN ZE WORLD! ( I’m entitled to type that anyfucken way I want to ) Fuck yeah! A band that signed some of their record contracts with their own blood! They entered Guinness Book of Records, presented pretty fucken hilarious phrases for the metal-community (Brothers of Metal, Kings Of Metal etc) and whatnot… I’m sure there’s not a single metalhead who doesn’t know about this band. They’ve been here for quite some time and obviously there’s no end in sight for these gays… sorry, I meant guys.

Songwriting

9. All of those and then some. But man, they do know how to create catchy fucken tunes. Despite all the “nagging” I actually enjoy this disc, hence the section it’s place in here at GD. That must mean I’m !A TRUE WARRIOR OF METAL! as well. And this album is metal at its finest. Ok, probably not by today’s standards, but who gives a flying fuck?

Production

8. For !TEH LOUDEST BAND IN ZE WORLD! it’s just… well, pretty fucken ok. But for any release from the 80’s it would be top notch. Ok, honestly, I’m even not sure what I just tried to say. It’s clear and good, the mix is nearly perfect and this fucker sounds more than good. Especially when played

Guitars

8. Fast and furious… at least by 80’s standards. Ross The Boss knows how to wank his instrument. Yes, I am referring to his guitar, what else did you think…?

Vocals

8. Eric Adams has a pretty fucken nice voice to say the least and I’m sure no one could even imagine someone else performing Manowar’s “message” better than him. It’s not my daily cup of tea anymore, but I can appreciate his work.

Bass

7. It’s there, you can hear it. The thing with Manowar is that they want the listener to hear each and every instrument used in the recording process. Of course they want, they’re !THE KINGS OF METAL! and they want their fans to experience that as well. Thank Satan there’s no bass-solo tracks on this album (I’m thinking of “Sting of the bumblebee” from their “Kings Of Metal” -release). Joey DeMaio digs playing bass and it definitely shows.

Drums

7. This is hilarious, taken from their website: ” Scott Columbus , a man so vicious with the sticks that standard drumkits simply fell to pieces under his awesome attack; hence the need for custom built, stainless steel drums. ” I told you, these dudes are !REAL!.

!HAIL METAL!

So yes, the drums are there, they’re well played and all and there’s not extra trickery here… Standard heavy metal drumming.

Oh, what’s an “awesome attack”? And how does it differ from “regular” attack?

Lyrics

-4 or a full 10. It really depends. And that’s the fun part of this album. Or any Manowar album. If you take these lyrics seriously, I pity you. Unless you’re a.) homo or b.) under 14 years of age, then it’s forgivable. I personally find them extremely amusing and entertaining. Sure, they’re very pompous and “sometimes” reek of gayness, but nevertheless they do suite Manowar’s music like a penis in a fag’s ass. What’s somewhat frightening is that I actually remember most of the lyrics of this album and I don’t even need to cheat by reading the booklet in order to give you an example of the funniest line from this album (taken from the song “Blow your speakers”):

I wrote a letter to MTV, what’s going on, don’t you care about me?
Sent the same letter to the radio, but the party went dead, like a shot in the head…

Eehhh… ok..? They’re supposed to be !THE KINGS OF METAL!, right? Kings don’t write letters to MTV or radio and whine about their music not getting enough airplay. That’s what pussies do. They should be trying to top their Guinness Record or Crusading the World or what the fuck it is that !THE KINGS OF METAL! do.

And please, could someone explain to me why there’s a “Parental advisory” thing on this release? Why, oh why? I’m sure PMRC couldn’t give a rats ass about Manowar’s “message”. Except if they fear their children might come out of the closet and start dressing in tight leather-pants or something. I mean, seriously, there’s nothing even remotely offensive on “Fighting the world”. Even my review is more offensive than all of Manowar’s releases combined.

Cover art

4. How fucken gay can you go without being like… really full-on flaming gay? Anyone care to shed some light on this? And in addition to that it’s a direct rip off from Kiss’ “Destroyer” -album. But it’s not even remotely as gay as the cover art for their 2nd release, “Into Glory Ride”.

Logo

7. As good as any other logo out there. At least it’s readable and recognizable.

Booklet

5. At least on the version I have (which is probably the very first cd-print of the album) there’s nothing fancy in here. All the necessary credits and lyrics. Simple as that.

Overall and ending rant

9. To be honest, I’d say the album itself is only a 7, but it does get some extra for the sole entertainment-value. And if something is still fun to listen to after 19 years or so, I’d say it’s classic material. Or close to it. And in this case…? Yeah, you guessed it. There is a reason it’s featured here: “Other bands play, Manowar kill!”.