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Devour the Domination
Not yet familiar with the bands hosted at Global Domination? Now's definitely the time to check 'em out. And what could be a better place for it than their Myspace-pages? Links below...
Demo(n)s
Chainwreck: Silence equals death
13/08/07 || Global Domination
This review was written by ex-staffer/cocksmoker Doomsdayzach.
So I finished listening to the Chainwreck 3 song demo and I assess my options. I can either:
A) Press play again and listen to it once more so I can get a feel for the band and write a decent review, or:
B) Stab myself in the balls with a rusty pair of dull scissors.
While I usually make it a point to take the least painful of any two options, this time I (unfortunately) have to endure and suffer the horror. I press play again.
This was originally slated to be reviewed by Farlus, so I can totally understand why he decided to stop writing for Global Domination. This one fucking sucks your will to live man. Hell, I’m thinking of quitting this site too after hearing this piece of shit. I’ll become a hermit up in the mountains, pissing and shitting in the corner of my shack until the stench and flies get to be so bad that I just curl up in a ball, dying in a pile of my own bodily fluids. But I am forced to review this now, and for this I will never forgive you, sir Farlus.
Chainwreck… actually, I gotta make the obvious joke now. Every time I type Chainwreck I feel the urge to do this, so let’s get it out of the way. Chainwreck… more like TRAINWRECK!!! Amirite? (_whew… moving on now…_) So Chainwreck is your basic tuff guy “metal”. The riffs are so unbelievably shitty, I’m surprised this band hasn’t been snatched right up by MTV. Fuck yeah guys…
“Chuggachuggachuggachuggachugga BREAKDOOOWWWNNNN!!!”
And yeah, in case you were wondering, the vocalist screams pretty much nonstop. I basically imagine a bunch of short haired beefy jocks who think Hatebreed is really tuff (don’t you know it’s more hardcore when you spell it like that?) all decide to start a band, but none of them really know what they’re doing. So they rip out a few riffs and look all badass trying to headbang in their backwards baseball caps. We’ve all seen it. Yeah, those guys.
Ah, I did make one error. At some point this douchefuck decides to try to sing. It’s so bad that he actually set back peace talks in the middle east by 38 years. And perhaps the most shocking thing of all is that Tommy Tägtgren recorded their first demo… just when you thought Abyss had some integrity.
So there you go, folks in Chainwreck. You’ve had your demo reviewed on the best fucken site on the retardnet. You’ve basically gotten to the highest point you will ever attain in your career. So go ahead and do us a favor. Disband, die, suffocate on the rolls of a really fat chick while she’s riding your cock. I really don’t care. Just make sure to never permeate the music scene again with your tired brand of suck ‘n’ roll. I’ma go look at some titties now.
No score, that would only justify their existence as a band.
- Information
- Released: 2007
- Label: Probably none. It’s a demo. And they suck.
- Website: www.chainwreck.com
- Band
- Sonny Jonasson: vocals
- Mathias Henrysson: guitars, vocals
- Henrik Palm: guitars
- Björn Tauman: bass
- Emil Lantz: drums
- Tracklist
- 01. Black is the path of dying
- 02. Liberation
- 03. Blood of the grunge