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Global Domination | Demo reviews | Kausalgia: Promo 2010

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Kausalgia: Promo 2010

13/06/11  ||  sly

There is nothing I love more than waking up to an overwhelming list of probably-crappy bands to review. But is it too much to ask for a good band or two, just once in a while? It is always a great pleasure to rip these shitty bands a new one, but occasionally it would be nice to actually enjoy the music to which it is obligatory for me to listen. But I will cease my whining and get down to work.

First, I must say: thankfully this one is only a promo. It already proved to be eighteen of the most boring minutes of my life; had it been a full album I don’t think I would have made it through.

I couldn’t find out much about Kausalgia, not even a proper listing of the members. But what I did discover is that they are unquestionably very important founders of a radical movement called the New Wave of Finnish Boring Metal (NWOFBM).

They seem to specialize in slow, atmospheric black metal with melty cheese for melodies. They sound as though they could be influenced by Burzum, Xasthur, bad German melancholic black metal, and sleeping grandmothers.

But don’t take my word for it. In this wonderful day and age, where equality is all the rage, there is something for every little fool on this planet. I’ve devised a simple method to determine whether Kausalgia may or may not be your thing.

Do you:

Own fishnet gloves and steel toe platform boots?
Have an online Hot Topic membership?
Have a vagina that bleeds every month?
Think personalities are overrated?
Have shit taste in music?

If you have answered in the affirmative to two or more of the above questions, allow me to direct you to the link below for Kausalgia’s MySpace, where you can listen to their promo in its entirety.


  • Information
  • Released: 2010
  • Website: Kausalgia MySpace
  • Band
  • Some Finnish twats. I couldn’t find much info on band members.
  • Tracklist
  • 01. Distant Cries
  • 02. Vihamiehet
  • 03. The Path