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Demo(n)s

Nihilistikrypt: Required sacrifices

17/01/06  ||  Lord K Philipson

Before I’m even listening to this demo I have to get a few things off my chest. Apparantly Nihilistikrypt (from now on known as NK since I hate to type that name) knows that the first impression is pretty damn important.

1. A registered mail with the demo.
2. Quality-photo included.
3. Bio, booklet and letter printed on glossy paper.
4. CD wrapped in plastic.

So far so fucken good, right? Then I take a look at the moniker of the band again… Nihilistikrypt? NIHILISTIKRYPT (Ok, so I lied, I had to type it a few times more…) ?!

What the fuck is a “nihilistikrypt” ? I understand that it’s a misspelled crypt that is obviously quite nihilistic, but what the fuck does it do besides that? Congrats guys, that’s one shitty name. Actually, it’s beyond shitty. It’s so shitty it makes shit make sense.

I’m losing it altogether here…

And the logo is something my penis would have drawn better, and my penis can’t draw for shit. Well, now when we have dealt with the name problem, problem number 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7 and error number fucken 800 comes next fuck-up;

The names of the band members.

Please, help me out here…”Orc” is doing vocals? Oh. My. Fucken. God. He and Sauron of ex-Decapitated should start a new band together. “Doomhand” plays bass? There’s not fast enough taxis to get me out of here as quick as I want to.

I don’t have the strength.

Hours passing

So, after having laughed myself to death I definitely expected some serious bullshit music from these guys. And whaddya know? I’m not exactly running around my flat taking extatic happy-shits to this, but it’s decent. Semi-ok executed death metal (with some melodic In Flames-ish riffing here and there) with a muddy production. I was actually hoping for these guys to completely blow me away with some insane production and musicianship despite their name (much like Necrophagist did once – them fucken cocksuckers), but it’s safe to say that didn’t happen.

NK are ok for what it is but I have definitely listened to this demo twice too many times now (and twice is the exact amount of times I actually listened to it). NK doesn’t bring shit to the scene and I don’t see them going anywhere anytime soon, no matter if all of their hearts are into this to the fullest. There are just too many bands out there today who blows these guys away (and make no mistake, alot worse as well), but I guess we all start somewhere.

Priority number fucken 1 for these jizz-lurkers is to get ahold of a better studio next time around. A good studio helps the lack of material, not the other way around. Oh, and do I need to mention that the drawing of the members in the booklet is something my penis would have drawn better?

Nothing to see here, carry on.

5/10

  • Information
  • Released: 2005
  • Label: Nope.
  • Website: www.nihilistikrypt.net
  • Band
  • Orc: vocals
  • Uziel: guitar, vocals
  • Doomhand: bass
  • Sorts: guitar
  • Port: drums
  • Tracklist
  • 01. The Summoning (intro)
  • 02. Brainbow
  • 03. Expired
  • 04. Virus: Human
  • 05. Enjoy The Violence
  • 06. I Hate Everything
  • 07. Thoughts Of A Misanthrope
  • 08. Rebellion Against Thee
  • 09. Execution Of The Last Priest (outro)