One Master: The quiet eye of eternity
09/09/09 || Trauma
I am ever so joyous to hear this here fvll-length from One Mistake. Hailing from the grimmest of grim, kvlt places in all of the Vnited States: the Nutmeg state. I’m fucken dying here. Not because nutmeg is grown in Connecticvlt, no, but because people from there used to make counterfeit nutmeg out of wood… I don’t make this shit up, it’s trve. Onto the whatever-we-have-here:
What, we fucken went back to 1994 where you can’t afford more than a shitty 3-track? Yes, a non-existent 3-track, so on “The quiet eye of ze eternal penis” there is absolutely no bass whatsoever. Fucken hell, they managed to keep it void from both the production AND music. Aren’t the Hamptons in Connecticut? Fucken explain to me why you can’t afford at the least bit decent recording equipment. You don’t qualify as trve if you’re from the United States. Maybe if you were one of the “witches” burned in Salem, but they’re dead. That’s my belief and to it I stake… er, stick.
I can get a better mix if I drove a car full of British people into a car full of Indians. Guitars are waaaaayyyyy too loud. There’s a couple decent riffs (like, E-A-D-G and B… or maybe not B, B is not too evil) in there, repeated way too much to make the music interesting. The drums sound like the drummer’s playing on their mom’s finest kitchenware – you know, the refuse bin snare; small, medium, and large Tupperware toms; a kick that sounds like a plastic salad bowl (hint: inaudible in all the noise); and for the crashes, ride, and hi-hat we have the pot lids and one of those steaming baskets. Actually, if the drums sounded like that it’d probably be interesting if you forgive the same drumbeat in every song with the occasional tom tom tom roll fill. The singer sounds like he’s still in the closet while the rest are recording elsewhere. Speaking of that, what is this guy singing about and was he recording over the phone? If there are lyrics I can’t hear them all too well. Maybe “Spirits caress my shoulders and suckle my teet” or something like that. I’d talk more about the music if there really was some there to hear outside of tried and trve and overvsed blakk riffing.
These guys bring nothing to the genre and they sound fucken sloppy. Trust me, black metal can be great, go listen to Dark Funeral and Emperor for example. Hell, let me recommend Ruins, even. This band, however, no. Get your shit together or go back to making fake nutmeg.
- Released: 2009
- Website: www.one-master.net
- Valder: vocals
- Phlegethon: guitars
- Might as well not be in the band: bass
- Stabwound: drums
- 1. Infinite void
- 2. The destroyer: part 1
- 3. The destroyer: part 2
- 4. The wanderer
- 5. Field of ruins