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Global Domination | Interviews | Vomitory - Tobben Gustafsson (first one)

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tobbenVomitory - Tobben Gustafsson (first one)

14/06/04  ||  Lord K Philipson

I, Lord K, your master, your hero, your personal Satan, hereby gives you a nice treat by interviewing good friend Tobben of Vomitory. This is another one of the plain marvellous interviews I conduct to this site and I know you’ll love the fuck out of it. Tobben knows his blastbeats better than most, he’s a good sport and one excellent drinker. Those are 3 reasons enough to interview him for Global Domination. Yeah, I also dig the band he’s in, namely Vomitory. So what more to say? Bow down to me and Tobben, congratulate us on one fantastic interview and send us cash. Or whores. After this, we sure deserve it.

Global Domination: Good fucken day fucker! How the hell are ya and more importantly, why do you love me?

Tobben: Good fucking fuck you fucking fuck! I’m just fine, thank you, except for being sober at the moment. Why I love you? Because I love tall she-males with looooong beards! You’re also quite fun to hang out with while being ridiculously drunk!

We have been through this quite a few times while being drunk… Isn’t it seriously about time that you kick out Uffe from the band, I mean, he’s not exactly a good guitarplayer and there’s just no way he can play yer shit correct live with all that hair and headbanging he performs.

I actually have some really fresh good news for you concerning this! Ulf has developed asthma, which means he will get hard to breathe during our live performances! Isn’t that just great??!! So if we’re lucky he might suffocate on stage! That would be the ultimate! So if you, Lord K, are present at that particular Vomitory show and watch Uffe die on stage, we will fulfil your wettest dream by letting you become a member of Vomitory!

Don’t you think it’s kinda cool you actually have a song called “Blessed and forsaken”? I mean, The Project Hate has a song called “Blessed are we to be lied upon” and one called “Forsaken by the naked light of day”. Not only did this track of yers win some silly radio award here in Örebro, It’s also rather catchy. How much did we influence you guys when you wrote this one?

Yeah, “Blessed and Forsaken” was voted as “Best song of the year 2002” by the listeners of Metal Radio in Örebro. Doesn’t really matter so much to me, but in a way it’s cool though to see that we have such good support in our surroundings! This particular song is a “band-favourite”, ‘because it’s really cool to play it and simply because it’s a damn good song! Oh yes, I admit that it’s rather catchy, but that’s what’s makes it so good. But do you know what? I believe that after you heard about “Blessed and Forsaken” on that radio show, you too wanted to have a song awarded on that show, so you simply nicked the title from Vomitory and divided it in two so you could double your chances. But, hey hey hey!! Didn’t really succeed, right, haha??!!

The first bullshit I ever heard of you guys was when I borrowed “Revelation Nausea” from Dan Swanö. I kinda liked it but it didn’t really strike me as excellent. Then you release “Blood Rapture” and I was pretty stunned and amazed. That’s some good death metal tunes you have in there brother. Please tell me Uffe didn’t write one single riff for it and more importantly… What would you like to change on that album today and are you aware of the fact that this album kicks the fuck out of the previous one?

As always after recording an album, there are always a few things that you wish you could have changed or done in another way. For example, we could have done the outro of the earlier mentioned song, “Blessed and Forsaken” way better, but what the fuck – it works! There are also a few drum things that I would have done different, like changing the snare drum sound a bit, played a few fills in a different way. But in all, there’s nothing that really bugs me – even now, a year and a half after the recording of it. I’m very pleased with the outcome of “Blood Rapture” and I still think the production is awesome. I agree with you that “Blood Rapture” is better than our previous album, “Revelation Nausea”, but I don’t really think that it kicks the fuck out of it. I still think “RN” is a very strong album and it marks a very important step in the progress of the band. But I’m really sorry to tell you this: Uffe did actually write one riff on the last album! Well, he was just humming some shit and saying “we should have a song that starts like this”; while I had a guitar in my hands so I kind of translated his humming to the guitar and developed it a bit. It’s the opening riff in the song “Chaos Fury”.

About “Blood Rapture”... It was recorded in Berno Studios, one of my favestudios when it comes to death metal. Lemme see if you can nail this one or the interview might end right here… There’s one album recorded there some time ago that I’d classify as one of the best death metal albums out of Sweden ever. Tell me which one I mean and you better be correct. I’ll give you a hint… The band’s name has a C in it. You better nail this one or your career as an “old-school-death-fan” is out of here like my sanity. And while we are at it… Exactly why did you choose Berno? I’m surprised not more bands record there as they give the bands a unique yet awesome sound all of the time. How much did you pay to make the album sound as crappy as it actually does? Don’t blame this one on Uffe; we know he doesn’t play anything on the albums.

Yeah, Berno Studio is a kick ass studio! You must be talking about Seance and their first album “Fornever Laid To Rest” right? We’ve recorded all our albums, except our debut, in Berno Studio. The reason why we chose that particular studio from the beginning was because in 1997, we met our future engineer and producer Henrik Larsson while being on tour. We got along real well with him and he liked our shit and told us he worked in Berno Studio, and since we were familiar with other albums recorded there we thought it was a damn good idea. So in 1998 we visited Berno Studio for the first time, and that resulted in our second album “Redemption”. We’ve been so satisfied with every album we’ve recorded there so we haven’t really seen any reason to change studio or producer. For every album we do together with Henrik Larsson, the closer we get to our “ultimate” sound. Before recording “Blood Rapture” there was never a discussion where we would record it, and none of us have regretted that. But I, just like you, am very surprised that not more bands record there! There is no such thing as the “Berno-sound” like you can say about loads of other studios, like “the Sunlight-sound”, “the Fredman-sound”, “the Abyss-sound”, “the Morrison-sound”. The list goes on. Every band really gets their unique sound yet awesome, just like you say! That must mean that it is a great studio with talented personnel! But lately, it seems like more bands have found their way to this studio, like Amon Earth, God Dethroned and Impiety (all the way from fucking Singapore!), which is cool! For the recording of “Blood Rapture” I think we paid a little more than 8000 bucks for three weeks. I guess that’s a pretty decent price for such a crappy sound, eh? Well, honestly, Uffe had to pay us 8000 bucks for letting him to play on the album!!

You were fucken close bitch, but not quite right. I was talking about Seance’s “Saltrubbed Eyes”. They prolly didn’t sell shit of it as they were on Black Mark though so naturally I have to ask this one… How much have you sold of each album? Don’t give me the bullshit about “I don’t know, we never get any royalty-statements and blafuckenbla…”. I wanna know some fucken figures man!

“Raped In Their Own Blood” – around 5000 copies, “Redemption” – around 5000 copies, “Revelation Nausea” – around 8000 copies and “Blood Rapture” around 8 – 10 000 copies. There you got your fucking figures! Some bands keep their sales figures very secret in hope to let people believe that they sell more than they actually do, but where’s the fucking point in that? Now when every other motherfucker downloads anything he or she wants from the internet, it doesn’t really make any sense anyway. I mean, is it a competition or what??!!

Last year you guys played Wacken in front of quite an amazing crowd to say the least. I know this becoz I was there and we partied together. I have to give you mad props for doing what prolly was that festivals best gig for me. It’s not like I could actually pick out any songs or anything like that as I don’t really know yer shit. But can you, on the top of yer hat, remember what you opened and ended yer setlist with? And while we are at it, what was the most insane shit that happened down there in Wacken? You must have some good stories.

Hell yeah, didn’t we have a great time at Wacken??!! Fucking nice to hear that you enjoyed the show! So did we! We opened our show with the first song from our last album “Chaos Fury” and ended with the title song from our debut, “Raped In Their Own Blood”. There was quite some insane shit going on in the V.I.P. area at Wacken! There was for example this guy (no names) who literally wiped off a table with a German! Man, did we laugh!! Or when our friend/roadmanager Joey Severance was making a serious attempt for a web-TV interview with us after our show. He didn’t really succeed since we got pretty drunk directly after our show, so he got really insulted and got licked in his ear and such nice things. Must look killer on that video, haha!! Unfortunately I haven’t seen it myself yet, but Joey told me it was pretty sick! We also hung out a lot with our friends in Alco Amarth, who seriously know how to swing their tankards!

You guys are pretty fast most of the time. How was it like being on the road with Krisiun, who basically beats the fucken hell out of you guys in speed? How were those fuckers on a personal level?

Krisiun are just sick! So fucking fast! And seeing them live in action is really fascinating. They have definitely no problem at all to beat Vomitory in speed! But is it really a competition? It was cool to be on tour with Krisiun. They are really laid back and cool people with a cool attitude. They’re true metal lovers – one can tell pretty fast after meeting them for the first time. They’re also serious musicians who take what they do very seriously, which certainly has paid off.

Maybe we should ask something more Vomitory-related in this interview or are you fine with how this is going along?

I’m just fine with this interview so far. You can ask what the fuck you want. I’ve done weirder interviews than this (well… not!).

Is Uffe fired yet? You know I could play yer stuff with one hand on my back? Maybe not as fast though but still…

Nope, he’s not fired yet, but we’re waiting for his terminal asthma attack on stage. And you know the rules then! Then you’ll get to play our stuff with one hand! In the meantime you can practice your speed, ‘cause without speed you’re fucked! At least in Vomitory (or Krisiun!).

What the fuck are the Vomit’s up to at this exact moment? It’s been a while since “Bloodrapture” came out so I imagine you guys having like 1 or 2 new songs for an eventual next album… Lemme in on some details here man…

In this exact moment we are rehearsing for two upcoming shows, the Motala Metal Festival in Motala/Sweden and supporting Cannibal Corpse and Sinister in Gothenburg. But part from that we’re trying to come up with new stuff for a new album. We’ve always been a slow working band, and now are no exception. And you’re right, K! We only have like two new songs! But I have a lot of ideas on more new songs, but I haven’t given birth to them yet. We don’t really know yet when we will record the new album, but it seems like it will be in the beginning of next year or so. We want to take time to write a bunch of songs and work on them real hard before we enter the studio. Earlier we’ve always had unfinished stuff when we’ve started the recording. We’ve been out of lyrics for some songs and some songs have not been finished or even written! On the last album we wrote two completely new songs in the studio, “Chaos Fury” and “Eternity Appears”. So far we’ve avoided it to sound rushed or incomplete, but it’s not a very nice situation to work in. You got really stressed up and that sucks big time! So for the next album we want to have everything properly prepared before we start recording.

I know that you are having a gig at a festival here in Sweden coming up in April, with bands like VADER, TANKARD, STORMWARRIOR, FINNTROLL, EVERGREY, PARAGON etc etc… I’m in the studio at that time recording the next TPH album you know so I can’t attend. But the question is, would I be on the guestlist once again if I could make it there?

It sucks that you can’t come ‘cause that would be a blast! Of course you’d be on the guestlist! You’re my personal groupie, for fuck’s sake! But we’ll make sure to wipe some tables without your help! Oh, sorry K!

Speaking about Vader, that’s another band outplaying you guys in speed… Why don’t you play faster?

We’re not from Poland. Polish bands are faster than Swedish – that’s a fact.

I have 6 words for you, Dark Fucken Funeral. I’d say they are the essence of all things black and metal. What are yer take on the black metal scene in general? I’m not a black metal fan really, but I love Dark Funeral… why is that?

I can’t really help you here, K ‘cause it seems like we’re suffering from the same disease. But maybe it’s so that you are sexually attracted to Caligula? I’m not really a fan of black metal myself either, but there are a few bands that I really like. Dark fucken Funeral is one of them, and I recently heard the new Marduk album and it fucking crushes everything they’ve done earlier! Another album that I also love is “De Mysteriis Dom Sathanas” with Mayhem. It’s fucking outstanding! Darkthrone have done some cool shit through the years as well.

As far as I know, you are a drummer. I’ll even say you are a good one. Who are some of the guys that impress the fuck out of you when it comes to blasting those skins? If you mention Neil Peart or someone like that I’m breaking up yer band.

I’m stunned by your intelligence, K. I AM a drummer! And thanks for the compliment! OK, prepare to break up my band, ‘cause I really like Neil Peart! But he’s not really a big influence when it comes to extreme drumming. I’d rather say that guys like Dave Lombardo, Doc (Vader), Nicke Andersson (ex Entombed), Chris Witchhunter (ex Sodom), Mick Harris (ex Napalm Death), Philty Taylor (ex Motörhead), Kai (Rotten Sound) and numerous of drummers in underground bands have made a greater impact on me and my drumming than more “normal” drummers. Other drummers influence me as well of course, and I believe you get influenced by everything you listen to, whether it’s a “big” name or just the unknown local band that has something that little extra. But to name a few big drummers that I really admire – Ian Paice, Nicko McBrain, Mikkey Dee, John Bonham aaaaaaand….Neil Peart!!!

As you are a drummer, I’d naturally want you to rate these guitarists: 1 being a sloppy shit and 10 being fuck-good. And don’t forget to make some comments about them.

Leif Edling:

He’s a fucking bassist! I don’t really know if he plays good but he certainly knows how to write songs and since he’s just Leif Edling of Candlemass it’s an obvious 10, without doubt!


I haven’t heard much of your playing, but judging from that I must honestly say that you’re pretty fucking good! At least I don’t dare to say anything else in this interview. So maybe a 7 (please don’t hit me!)?

Uffe of yer band:

He’s pretty good as well. Well, he’s not really the Yngwie Malmsteen of death metal, but he knows how to play crust better than Yngwie, that’s for sure! He’s doing his job in Vomitory very well, so it’s an obvious 10! (I know you don’t agree, K! Sorry…)

James Murphy:

Honestly, I haven’t got a clue, but since he’s been in a few well-known bands he can’t be bad. I’d say he’s an 8.

Lord Ahriman:

He’s a 6 I think. He writes good songs and looks pretty funny on stage.

Someone from Cannibal Corpse:

Both Pat and Jack are awesome guitarists. I can’t tell which one of them who is best though. I’d say they’re both 9’s.

Ronnie James Dio:

Guitarist??? As far as I know he’s one of the greatest singers that has walked within the realms of rock music. 10 – for the vocals. 1 – for his height.

Mike Amott:

He’s definitely one of my fave Swedish guitar players. I like his style a lot. This guy has been in fucking Carcass for fuck’s sake!!! That automatically gives him a 10!

Kerry King:

One of the most important guitar players of metal, along with his buddy Jeff Hanneman. Since what he’s done in the past and how that has affected the musical history, a 10 isn’t enough. He really IS a good guitar player as well.

Scott Ian:

I think this guy has become a bit in the shadows of other guys, like for example Kerry King. But he as well created something original, which has influenced loads of guitarists. He has some seriously tight riffing going on, and that is something that I really appreciate with guitar players. I don’t really give a fuck if they can do leads. If they can’t play tight rhythm parts – fuck ‘em! Scott is an 8!

I’m seriously running out of questions here. By the way, your website sucks. Can you make sure that our link is correct, we don’t use dotcom anymore, we use dotnet.

I know our website sucks, but it works. We’re working on getting a professional take care of it. A friend of ours is taking care of our website now. I promise you a change for the better! And your link is correct, don’t worry!

Now to the essential part… What was yer biggest royalty-cheque for? And what did you buy with it?

We don’t make any fucking money on this. My biggest cheque I’ve got as musician was on something like 4500 Swedish crowns some years ago. If I remember right, I think I bought new cymbals for that, a crate of beer and a stamp.

Being on Metal Blade as you guys are, I have a hard time seeing you guys actually getting royalty-cheques… How are those guys treating you really? What’s the contract like? For how long are you going to be their slaves? They are quite big you know, do you guys have like any priority to them? How much do you get for recordings and shit? Small things like that…

Metal Blade is treating us good. Things could of course be better though, but in all we’re satisfied. We knew from the beginning that Vomitory wouldn’t be a priority band for them, since they got big bands like Cannibal Corpse, Vader, Six Feet Under and Bolt Thrower in their rooster. But what was a priority to us when we signed for them was that we would get the opportunity to go on tour with those bands and other top-bands in the extreme metal genre. And we believe that to become bigger as a band within death metal, you simply must tour and play live a lot. Only releasing albums isn’t enough. And fact is that we really enjoy touring and playing live. For every album we get a decent recording budget, which also covers costs around it, like accommodation, transportation, mastering, cover artwork etc. What the contract looks like further only concerns them and us, sorry. But I can tell that we have options on two more albums for them before the contract expires.

As I’m typing this “Nailed, Quartered, Consumed” from ” Bloodrapture” comes on… Does that title really mean something to you or is it just a cool collection of words? What would you say is the hardest song off this album to play live and which one is yer favetrack? Hopefully not one that Uffe wrote coz then this interview ends here. Again. And also, is there this one single track you absolutely despise on the album?

The lyrics to “Nailed, Quartered, Consumed” is written by Ulf (sorry, K). It describes how you’re invited to dinner, but surprisingly – you are the dinner! I must say that it’s a cool collection of words as well! We tried to play the second song off the album, “Hollow Retribution”, live a couple of times and it was quite clear to us that it simply didn’t work. It’s not really that it’s much harder to play than any other song, but it simply didn’t work. Don’t really know why. The title song “Blood Rapture” is also quite hard to play live, at least for me, since it’s pretty intense and fast. But the same song is also one of my absolute Vomitory favourites! We all enjoy playing that one. “Blessed And Forsaken” is also a band’s favourite. There isn’t really any song that I totally despise on the album, but there are of course some songs that are better than others are. If I have to say one song on the album that doesn’t really come up to the usual Vomitory standards (according to me that is), I’d say “Eternity Appears”. It’s still a good song with some cool elements in it, but that’s the one I like the least on the album.

Thanx to Metal Sludge for this one… Has Tobben ever (yes or no):

Seen Uffe naked, without vomiting?

Hell, no! I mean, I’ve seen him naked and I’ve puked every single time!

Played a blastbeat where it was not supposed to be, in a live-situation?

No, not that I can recall straight away, but that has most definitely happened some time.

Been caught buttering?

Ripped from the cross?

Had a fistfight with a member of the band?


Been thinking, “I’m too fucken old for this fucken blastbeat-bullshit”?

No. But I’ve been thinking of starting another band only for a change.

Wanting to start a band with me?

No. I mean, yes!

Fucked a friend’s girlfriend?

This axe was made to fucking grind!

Done coke?


Was it too expensive?

Not interested in any other drugs than alcohol and metal.

Enjoyed an interview as much as this one?

Hell no!

Vomitory, is that really a word? Who came up with it? Honestly, it sucks pretty much don’t you think? You can be honest with me and say that you are hanging on to it coz you’ve had it for so long and people recognise it or something nowadays. When I start a death metal-band it’ll be called Dormitory, that’s fucken death metal enough I’d say. We’ll play nothing but Vomitory songs, only faster.

Vomitory is certainly an existing word, and it was me who came up with it, if I recall things right. Vomitory means something like “things that makes you puke”, which we thought suited our music fucking good when we started the band. Later, we also found out that it’s also another word for the sewers. Fuck you, K! Vomitory doesn’t suck one percent of how much “The Project Hate MXMMCIXXIMCXMCIICMXMMXXXIII” sucks! You must admit that! Anything with the word “project” sucks!!! But you didn’t get a radio award either… haha!! Seriously, we were actually thinking of changing name in the early ‘90’s but we didn’t come up with anything cool enough so we stuck to Vomitory. And wouldn’t it be really stupid to change name now??!! I mean, we are Vomitory! OK, call your band Dormitory. I’ll call my new band Vibratory, and we’ll only play porn-metal!

So how are we doing so far? What question is this brother?

We’re doing pretty fucking good, I think! This question sucks though!

I actually own a Vomitory-shirt. I stole it from Genocide SS’ Rickard some time ago. It’s the one with front print only, the shield you know… It kinda looks like a rare one. How many of those were made and why is it that I’m the only one I’ve seen wearing it? Would you wanna buy it off me?

Be proud of that shirt! I understand if Rikard is devastated! And no thank you, I don’t want to buy it from you. I’ve got a few ones myself, but without odour. The “shield” T-shirt isn’t really rare. By now I believe we’ve sold a couple of hundreds of it. But do you have the one with the back print that says “True Swedish Beer Metal”, you can consider it a rarity, ‘cause that one is only printed in 100 copies. That you haven’t seen anyone else wearing it speaks for itself – you are our only fan! So wear it with fucking pride, bro!

If we move up another level now and talk about something more serious… What’s yer take on the Iraq-situation? I’m only kidding, have you seen eel-porn? Now that’s some serious question…. And since Scott left the site I gladly use this question in his honour.

No, I don’t think I’ve seen eel-porn, but I’ve seen snake-porn and I guess that fits in the same category. Pretty nasty shit!

Who are the coolest bands you ever toured with and who were the biggest cocksuckers? I know you toured a bit with Amon Amarth, you must have some good stories about those drunks as well… Amon Amarth, great band, uses Berno, pussy-ass-bearded vocalist. Let us hear some drunken stories from the tour man. take your time, I’m not going anywhere, I have 4 more questions to come up with.

I’d say that Cannibal Corpse, Marduk and Amon Amarth are the coolest bands we’ve toured with. We get along real well with those guys and they all have a laid-back and cool attitude, which makes it a true pleasure to tour with them. We’ve been touring with a few cocksuckers as well, but it’s never a whole band, only certain persons. I don’t want to mention any names, but I can say they’re from both Swedish and American bands. But I try not to pay those guys any attention. There are always better people to hang out with on tour. There are quite a few stories from past tours.

One crazy thing worth mentioning that happened on the tour we did with Amon Amarth and Callenish Circle a year ago was when the tour bus lost two of the left rear wheels at approximately 100 km/h on a French highway! Luckily nobody got hurt. We were sitting in the back upstairs lounge of the bus when the road began to feel bumpy and Johan Hegg of Amon Amarth joked and said “We’ll probably loose a couple of wheels very soon”. Then, like 20 seconds later, we really felt something happened with the bus and Ulf looked out of the window and saw two of the wheels spinning at full speed beside the bus, and Rokka, the bass player of Callenish Circle screamed from the downstairs lounge “we’re losing two tires, we’re losing two tires!!!” Ulf ran like a fucking leopard on crack to the front and screamed to the driver to stop! The fat driver managed to stop the bus after some hundreds of meters without any problem and the two wheels had stopped spinning and leaned against the middle railing that separates the lanes. We were really lucky that there were no other vehicles around when it happened. That could have cost lives.

It should also be mentioned that the bus had three rear wheels on each side so when we lost the two we still had one that kept the bus on the road. But I can guarantee you, we were quite nervous when it happened! Another funny thing with this was that the other bands on this tour, Diabolical and Sins Of Omission, have had serious problems with their tour bus all the time up until then. It had broken down several times so they had to travel by rental vans instead during most of the tour, but when this happened to our bus they had got their bus fixed. So guess if they honked the horn when they drove past us when we were standing by the ditch with a tire-less tour bus, a retarded driver and a bunch of French cops! A couple of days before that, when we were leaving Madrid/Spain that same fat fucking bus driver managed to reverse the bus into a apartment building and rammed a fucking balcony! We were sitting in the back lounge drinking beer as usual when we heard this loud crash! He didn’t give a shit about that and just continued driving! The day after, our sound guy, David had to get on the roof of the bus with a broomstick and hack pieces of brick from the balcony off the rear roof of the bus!

These aren’t really drunken stories, but well worth telling. But I can assure you – there was some serious drinking going on, on that tour! Especially in Spain at some holiday resort, where we totally kept the good Swedish reputation alive! Or when Johan (Hegg/Amon Amarth) and me (and Olli before he took off with some chick) spent the whole night in a club in Hamburg where the German guitar hero Axel Rudi Pell had his “end-of-tour” party. Some great memories there…

Lemme se here… If Vomitory was a regular family… Who’d be the whoring mom, the drunk dad, the four-eyed sister and the spoiled brat-brother?

Hahaha!!! This was an easy one! I’d be the whoring mom, Uffe would be the drunk dad (who else), Ubbe would be the four-eyed sister and Erik the spoiled brat-brother!

Aside from being in a pretty fucken good death metal band as well as being in the scene for quite a while… What kinda music do you listen to outside of metal? I mean, I have a hard time believing anyone into metal actually brings a gal home with the purpose of getting into her panties and puts on Cannibal Corpse… And by the way, girls are fucken retarded.

Beside metal, I listen a lot to older hard rock like Deep Purple, Led Zeppelin, Black Sabbath, Rainbow etc. I also enjoy listening to The Beatles, Dead Kennedys, Jimi Hendrix, some David Bowie stuff and some movie soundtracks, to name a few examples. And Rush of course! I’ve never tried that Cannibal Corpse-trick though, but I have the same theory as you here. And yeah, girls are fucking retarded! Most of them at least. There are a few exceptions though.

Not many people knows about this but you, myself, an Irish bloke and J of TPH/Entombed are going to make a death metal demo as soon as we have some time. How exactly would you want this to sound? You once told me that you can’t play double-bass too well, then I’m thinking… Who the fuck plays on the Vomitory albums? You know you can trust me when it comes to writing death metal. I’ll send you a tape of the songs soon enough. Exactly what did this have to do with anything, except for making people interested in this project? Let’s not say anything more about this for a while, ok? So lemme see here… How many chicks have you scored in yer miserable life?

This band will be the shit! Since I’ve been so fucking lazy with answering this interview, I’ve already got the songs from you, K, and as I’ve told you earlier, it sounds awesome! I believe it will turn out to be very death metal! Heavy as fuck and on top of that, one of the best, or maybe even the best death metal vocalist of all time, Jörgen Sandström! Looking forward to it! And I really hope people get curious about this über-brutal band! That double bass drum talk wasn’t really bullshit, even though I have managed to play everything well on the albums. I’ve constantly been losing speed and control over my feet during several years, and that is most definitely because of lack of practicing. But recently we moved to a new rehearsal place, which is nearer to where I live, which means that I can practice more often. And finally it feels like I’m getting into shape again. I’ve made some few adjustments on my drum kit setup and changed pedals that help me getting comfortable with my playing again. Feels fucking great!!! How many chicks I’ve scored? Man, I lost count after 666!

Thanx man, it’s been a fucken pleasure. You can thank me now for taking the time to do this. Oh, and I love you guys, even Uffe, just don’t fucken tell the bastard. Cheers brother!

Thank you for the opportunity, K! This must be the longest fucking interview I’ve ever done and I’m so happy that it’s ending here, ha! I know you love us, and you know that we love you too – even Uffe! But he would never admit that. We salute you, K! Hail Satan and stay drunk!