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Welcome to Global Domination, bitches!

20/03/13  ||  Global Domination

You SUCK it! WE ARE ALWAYS LOOKING FOR MORE WRITERS TO ENHANCE THE DOMINATION THAT IS THIS WEBSITE. WE ALSO PUT THIS IN CAPITALS SO YOU WON’T MISS IT, FOUR-EYES. THINK YOU HAVE WHAT IT TAKES? THEN CLICK THIS LINK AND READ EVERYTHING THOROUGHLY.

We are Global Domination. The only metal site you need. We are the rulers. We have dominated the Internet since muthafucken 2004 and we grow stronger and more awesome by the second. We are also the most visited site on the Internet. Why? Becoz we rule all kinds of shit. And we update DAILY! Another reason is: WE HAVE A FACEBOOK PAGE! So metal. Click it. Like it. Or die.

If you submit demos and albums to us, know that it will take a few weeks (up to a month or so at times) before you’ll see it reviewed at the site since we have updates pending that far into the future. Also, take note: we prefer metal at this place. So, do you play metal? No? Then fuck you and your shit band. Stay away from us. Oh, and we don’t review 7 inches, so don’t send that shitty format to GD. And no, we don’t download your shitty promos to review. If we did that, we’d be reviewing shitty albums all day long. And we don’t like to review shitty albums all day long. Make an effort and send us the real deal, or don’t bother contacting us. If you send the real thing, we will review it, no matter how much it sucks. Yeah – we’re tough as nails. You can tell by our tone in this text. POW!

And, DO NOT SEND YOUR SHIT IN REGISTERED MAIL! We have better things to do than to run to the postal office and get your fucken demo/album/whatever. If you send it as registered, it will not be picked up. Understand. Also, do not e-mail us and ask if we got your promo package. We will not reply. If we got it, it will be reviewed at the site. If it never shows up at GD, we simply didn’t get it, and we sure as fuck won’t go out and look for it. Understand. Do not ask and beg for us to interview you. We choose who we wanna do interviews with. Yes, we are assholes. Honest assholes at that. Understand. If you still want to send your shit to us, make sure you include all the necessary info such as band name and title of the recording. Yes, some people actually don’t think that’s necessary. Idiots.

Enjoy yer stay.

Or we’ll punch you in the vagina.