News and updates
Welcome to Global Domination, bitches!
20/03/13 || Global Domination
This text is updated as of May 17th , 2013.
We are Global Domination. The only metal site you need. We are the rulers. We have dominated the Internet for tons of years now and we grow stronger and more awesome every day. We are also the most visited site on the Internet. Why? Becoz we rule all kinds of shit. Another reason is: WE HAVE A FACEBOOK PAGE! WOOHOO! So metal. Click it. Like it. Or die.
If you submit demos and albums to us, know that it will take a few weeks (up to a month or so at times) before you’ll see it reviewed at the site since we have updates pending that far into the future. If it doesn’t end up in the STUBS-section that is. Then you’ll see it as soon as we have had the time to listen to your crap. Also, take note: we prefer metal at this place. So, do you play metal? No? Then fuck you and your shit band. Stay away from us. Oh, and we don’t review 7 inches, so don’t send that shitty format to GD. And no, we don’t download your shitty promos to review. If we did that, we’d be reviewing shitty albums all day long. And we don’t like to review shitty albums all day long. Make an effort and send us the real deal, or don’t bother contacting us. If you send the real thing, we will review it, no matter how much it sucks. Remember: we don’t need you, you need us. We’re tough as nails. You can tell by our tone in this text. POW!
And, DO NOT SEND YOUR SHIT IN REGISTERED MAIL! We have better things to do than to run to the postal office and get your fucken demo. If you send it as registered, it will not be picked up. Understand. Also, do not e-mail us and ask if we got your promo package. We will not reply. If we got it, it will be reviewed at the site. If it never shows up at GD, we simply didn’t get it, and we sure as fuck won’t go out and look for it. Understand. Do not ask and beg for us to interview you. We choose who we wanna do interviews with. Yes, we are assholes. Honest assholes at that. Understand. If you still want to send your shit to us, make sure you include all the necessary info such as band name and title of the recording. Yes, some people actually don’t think that’s necessary. Idiots.
We used to have band forums here but as of March 2013 we deleted all but 2 of them (The Project Hate and Torture Division will always be active). Why? Becoz people don’t give a shit about forums these days. It’s all Facebook. You can read the band forums without registering, but if you wanna take part in the remaining forums (and would like to post), registration is required. Oh, we have decided to make the Global Domination Area (where people discuss the updates and other shit about the site) of the forums available for everyone to read, but you still can’t post if you are not registered.
WE ARE ALWAYS LOOKING FOR MORE WRITERS TO ENHANCE THE DOMINATION THAT IS THIS WEBSITE. WE ALSO PUT THIS IN CAPITALS SO YOU WON’T MISS IT, FOUR-EYES. THINK YOU HAVE WHAT IT TAKES? THEN CLICK THIS LINK AND READ EVERYTHING THOROUGHLY. IF YOU DON’T KNOW WHO WE ARE BY NOW, BELOW IS SOME CRUCIAL INFORMATION.
Enjoy yer stay.
Or we’ll punch you in the cunt.
/ Lord K. Philipson & Statik Majik, owners and chiefs of Global Domination.