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Adrenaline Mob: Omertá

31/05/12  ||  Sokaris

I think Mike Portnoy is on a quest to become the most hated drummer in metal, dethroning Lars Ulrich and that guy who was in Judas Priest a long time ago that was recently convicted of sexually assaulting kids. Being in modern Metallica and raping children are both appallingly serious offenses, but if Mike Portnoy is using his virtuoso skills to produce out-of-touch, dull-as-shit drivel like this than he can probably be included in the same category.

In all honesty, I half-expected Portnoy’s next musical venture to just be ambient ocean sounds put to record. He’s obviously been spending a lot of time on the beach, as evidenced by the high sand-to-vagina ratio he’s been suffering from as of late.

Maybe this was an attempt to make his involvement in Avenged Sevenfold look like he was doing something kickass post-Dream Theater in comparison. Those guys are terrible but as far as children’s entertainment goes there’s a lot more annoying stuff out there. Adrenaline Mob is basically Disturbed for people that think Five Finger Death Punch gets a little too crazy. You know, they get pumped up to this and then switch to Nickelback to kind of mellow out afterwards.

To be clear, I had no expectations for this album despite the involvement of prog metal royalty (the aforementioned red-in-the-crotch Portnoy and Symphony X singer Russell Allen) as I don’t own anything from either band. Apparently assuming a “no expectations” stance on a music recording doesn’t guarantee the impossibility of disappointment.

Also, on a special note I want to mention the guitar soloing. This guy plays like an asshole. I’m down with some gratuitous leadwork, but this is just some guy who got really good at playing guitar but never picked up the idea of context along the line.

Douche-rock of the lowest magnitude, this has earned the lowest score available. I considered just giving a couple points for the fact that this is in time and the instruments are indeed used to create something. However, at the end of the day I’d rate any up-their-own-ass art student noise projects higher than this because none of it’s doing any actual harm and there’s probably some genuine ambition there. These guys have a huge promotional budget behind them, all the right rock cliches and people will flock to it and call us “haters” and “elitists” for recognizing this as nothing more than a mid-life crisis grab for cash and mainstream recognition.

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  • Information
  • Released: 2012
  • Label: Capitol Records
  • Website: www.adrenalinemob.com
  • Band
  • Russell ‘Fedora’ Allan: vocals
  • Rich Ward: guitars
  • Mike Orlando: guitars
  • Paul Di Leo: bass
  • Mike Portnoy: drums
  • Tracklist
  • 01. Undaunted
  • 02. Psychosane
  • 03. Indifferent
  • 04. All on the line
  • 05. Hit the wall
  • 06. Feelin’ me
  • 07. Come undone
  • 08. Believe me
  • 09. Down to the floor
  • 10. Angel sky
  • 11. Freight train