Reviews
Blackgod: The end of christian utopia
14/03/08 || Global Domination
This review was written by ex-staffer/cocksmoker Desolator.
Holy fucking SHIT this is fast. This is even more of a hyperblast than “Panzer Division Marduk”. Are you tired of the weak, boring and annoying portion of the black metal scene (hello Nargaroth and fuck off)? Obviously, Blackgod got tired of it too, so they have added their slab of massively brutal black earwax to the table.
I shall call this album “Punchy” because that’s what this album is. The sound, rhythms and drums are many deathblows to the eardrums. Just imagine a punching bag facing Mohammed Ali’s wrath, after the guy found out that a teddy bear was being named after him. Now, this is a lot of raw hatred and violence to bear and if you can imagine your brain as the punching bag, that is what listening to Blackgod will do for you.
If you’re one of those loopy cunts who listens to an album from start to finish, your ears will first meet an intro that does no justice whatsoever to the rest of the music. It takes a lot of bravery to put in a really cheesy intro that could ward the listener away from the rest of your album. It’s supposed to be a clip of someone being crucified. It sounds like some braindead fucker trying to blow the devil out of his nose and into his handkerchief. It’s not nice to pick on the handicapped, you know. The intro portrays a sense of pain, but as I said, it’s a little cheesy, while the rest of the music is far from it.
I can see that Blackgod prefers to suffocate the listener with bombastic and crushing black metal as opposed to recording distortion orgies in the basement. Don’t get me wrong though, things get very nasty and orgiastic with Punchy. Fuck I’m sick of using that name already. I’ll go back to calling it Blackgod. Damn you, Rocky Balboa.
The ultimate formula for Blackgod’s albums is to insert a tank onto the disc. What we have here is a nuclear bomb worth of blastbeats accompanied with a gloomy and scathing sound. There’s also a lot of black and roll in this penis of an album. If your head doesn’t bang while listening to this shit, then it should be sawn off with your favourite disc, whether compact or vinyl. Why? Because if you don’t let your head bang at the bangable moments, then you’re just holding it back, not allowing it to grow to its full potential. You fucking sadist!
“Nuns Want To Fuck” is a funny and somewhat erotic track. It’s erotic for about 10 seconds while nuns actually fuck themselves. Or other nuns and church objects. Blackgod is almost as perverted as Belphegor, you see. That alone would rightfully get them a bit of respect, because we metalheads are perverts at heart, you see.
If you want something to fuck a chick dressed in a nun costume to, then Blackgod will set the mood for you. Just like a filthy and brutal version of Barry White, this is the real mood setter for “love”.
8 out of 10.
- Information
- Released: 2006
- Label: Obscure Abhorence
- Website: blackgod.satanslegions.com
- Band
- LSA: vocals
- Kleudde: guitar
- Dispater: bass and guitar
- Antares: drums
- Tracklist
- 01. Crucified
- 02. Christian Torture
- 03. Asmodeus
- 04. Orgasm Of The Devil’s Whore
- 05. Christian Whore
- 06. The End Of Christian Utopia
- 07. Dismal Shadow
- 08. Hymn 666
- 09. Nuns Want To Fuck