Blind Guardian: A twist in the myth
22/05/12 || BamaHammer
I’m a huge fan of Blind Guardian. I’m also a pretty big fan of good power metal and basically all things German (Except Sauerkraut. That shit’s gross.) That being said, I feel like I may hold a band like BG to a higher standard than many other bands simply because I’m very familiar with their work, and I know just how great they can be. When I heard “A twist in the myth” back in 2006, I was more than a little let down by the lack of quality in all aspects that the album brought to the table.
The first thing that’s immediately noticed about the album from the very first second is the shit, I mean Scheiße, production. Every sound in the recording is squashed to the realm between two very boring and very similar areas of midrange that creates a dull, lifeless record with no real character. The drums slap and thump along like Freddy Ehmke is whacking a series of cardboard boxes with a pair of half-erect elf penises. The guitars are just an annoying, honking mess that are generally hard to stomach. Hansi still sounds like Hansi (and many times choirs of Hansis), but there’s no life. The album is in desperate need of some high-end sizzle to bring it to life, and it just doesn’t happen. Ever.
As for the material itself, it’s not necessarily bad, and it can even be quite good at times, but the album is riddled with inconsistency when taken as a whole. The first four tracks range anywhere from pretty good (“Turn the page” and “Fly”) to really good (“Otherland” and “This will never end”), but after that is when things start to spiral out of control. There is really nothing memorable at all on the second half of the album. Well, nothing except for the irritating-yet-irresistable-for-some-reason “Skalds and shadows” which served as a cheesy closing-credits song for a Uwe Boll movie (In the Name of the King). It’s lutes and flutes all the way. Either way, an album that’s this front-loaded can’t be enjoyed with much longevity. The absolutely dreadful “Another stranger me” was even spun into a single, and it’s one of the absolute worst BG songs I’ve ever had the shame of hearing.
I really can’t recommend “A twist in the myth” to anyone other than the Blind Guardian die-hards out there who play D & D in the basement, worship at the Church of Hansi, and wear chainmail in public while referring to themselves as “mighty”. There are a few good tracks and good moments to be found on this record. They aren’t groundbreaking in any way, but they’re still good. However, they are just too mired in mediocre filler material that the entire package just feels like it’s just not worth it. If you need a Blind Guardian fix, check out the first four tracks and run away from the rest as if they were a horde of horny rapist orcs.
- Released: 2006
- Label: Nuclear Blast
- Website: www.blind-guardian.com
- Hansi Kürsch: vocals
- Marcus Siepen: guitars
- André Olbrich: guitars
- Frederik Ehmke: drums, percussion, flute, bagpipes
- 01. This Will Never End
- 02. Otherland
- 03. Turn the Page
- 04. Fly
- 05. Carry the Blessed Home
- 06. Another Stranger Me
- 07. Straight Through the Mirror
- 08. Lionheart
- 09. Skalds & Shadows
- 10. The Edge
- 11. The New Order