Haggis: Nation of fools
14/09/09 || Kampfar
Those tired of my bullshit would be wise to skip a few paragraphs. In fact, skip the whole thing. All of you. The same all of you should of course fetch the very next train heading towards your nearest camp into concentration and there die, with haste, a slow and utterly horrid death.
Norway had every opportunity to become an awesome country. We didn’t, we rather threw the chance further away than an Olympic athlete, one blood-drugged by Satan, would a javelin under the best circumstances ever. Aka, don’t fucking believe the hype, especially not so if the the UN says so. Me don’t know about the people contained inside the fought for lines drawn around the state you inhabitate, and I don’t care at all, but we Norwegians happen to be in love with the UN. Why? Well, mostly because the first head-chief of said nuthouse was a dude named Trygve Bratteli – a twat unfortunately born and raised in this nowadays parody of a country faltering towards (funeral) doom. Remember, a small shithole we are, population wise, so we will do anyfuckingthing to get the world’s attention. Anything! So naturally, when the UN, ze very rulers of morale and shit, rank us as the superduper best country in the whole wide world, all we idiots tend to feel like champions of the entire fucking universe. And that’s how we ended up known as Whoreway, a nation of fucking fools; fools as in useless half-gays and cheap, heartless women into fucking around, abortion, and breaking hearts exclusively.*
No, I’m not Dave Mustaine, though obviously every bit as insane. Fuck ‘ye all. Yeah, fuck ‘ye all again! But, fucking hails to Haggis.
My intention this time around was to review the best album ever made, namely “The impeccable glory of eternal war”, but every time I play that fucker this very idiot finds himself all over the place – busy doing air-bass and shit, thus very unable to operate a keyboard. Fucking hell, not even my penis gets any attention when that fucker does my excellent loudspeakers. Me promise ye. Ouch, almost forgot, my gook manufactured amplifier ain’t exactly shit either. Yep, I fucking love my stereo, but since I didn’t make it myself I ain’t exactly proud of it.
Very many words are already written, entirely too many perhaps, and if one uses logic it translates to “Nation of fools” not being ace on level with that album I close to just mentioned. Correct, spot-on, bingo, bullseye, analsex, and the live-recordings are especially, entirely, not good at all. Hey, let’s all 2 of us pretend they don’t exist!
Excellent, then we’re left with 6 songs doing a very good rim-job for those into punk-metal spiced with a bit of country. This bit of country I’m a bit on about is mainly to be found in/on “Ring of fire”, courtesy of Johnny Cash (or is it June Carter?) of course, but traces and downright bits are present otherwhere too. First and foremost, however, we are treated to catchy, big-balled punk-metal that wouldn’t mind seeing ye all sent to Gaza for some gassing. But that is then and this is now, so in the meanwhile let’s get pissdrunk of our asses and pray upon destruction of everything humanoid.
I hate my own country, I so wish I didn’t (have to).
(*) Not entirely true, only a bit too much. Anywayz, the derogatory bit about the so-called men of this sorry nation rings much truer than that what I claimed about our so-called women circa a thousand words ago.
- Released: 2006
- Label: Beer Fuck Fight Records
- Website: nope
- Ottar Stangeland: vocals, guitar
- DD-Amin: bass
- Mobassa: drums
- 01. Nation of fools
- 02. Facist AFA
- 03. Halvor Halvorsen
- 04. Max Hardcore
- 05. Ring of fire
- 06. Old, drunk, and white
- 07. Long black veil (live)
- 08. Joey Ramone (live)
- 09. The Vikings are coming (live)