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Nightkarnation: Impending hell

18/12/07  ||  Global Domination

This review was written by ex-staffer/cocksmoker Desolator.

It may seem a bit unfair to bash an album that shows good musicianship, but there’s an asshole in all of us. Not just the one that rests between our butt cheeks, as we all have an asshole somewhere in our soul, on the ready to excrete our bad natured deeds. This album is like a well-crafted sculpture of cow vomit. No matter how well the music is performed, the creation is just god awful. Nightkarnation can play their instruments very well and the music is as tight as the union between my tongue and a mars bar, but the sound is total shit. Most of the time, I can’t stand the ultra-fuzzy noise that some bands find so necessary for their guitars.

The solos sound like something I’ve heard on a broken Nintendo Gameboy stuffed in someone’s ass, especially on “Ignited Dreams”. Sure, solos are hard to play and require some skill, but sometimes the effort isn’t worth it. If the solos are gonna sound like crap, then why bother doing them?

There is one redeeming feature for this album though. Despite the production, I like the opening riffs for “The Grimmest Emotion Of All”. But then it crawls back into the hellhole that is this album and dies. At least it gave me a good laugh because I sometimes misread the title as “The Grimmest Emoticon Of All”. Need I say why? The opening melody for “Thralled Servants” would have been killer if it had a better sound, but in this case, that is not to be. You know the painful tingling you get when you scrape a scrunched up ball of foil against a dinner plate? That’s the feeling I got when listening to the melody in question.

These guys are good musicians, but they need to work with other commodities that are not reverse-generated by a cow’s esophagus. I don’t know why people like playing with animal vomit anyway. It’s bad for you. Now wash your hands.

3 moonlit cattle stomach disturbances out of 10.

  • Information
  • Released: 2006
  • Label: None
  • Website: www.nightkarnation.com.ar
  • Band
  • Diego Alejandro Sañudo Ugarte: guitar and vocals
  • Sebastian Diego Miguel: bass
  • Nicolas The Hammer (haha, wtf?): drums
  • Tracklist
  • 01. Ignited Dreams
  • 02. Ecclesiastic Termination
  • 03. Merchant Of Blood
  • 04. Thralled Servants
  • 05. New Flesh
  • 06. The Grimmest Emotion of All