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Reviews
Wykked Wytch: Memories of a dying whore
29/02/08 || Global Domination
This review was written by ex-staffer/cocksmoker Desolator.
When the boss wanted someone to review this, and Tymah, no one wanted to take them for ages. But just before it seemed like everyone was going to get the sack (or at least a slap on the ass) I stepped in as the sacrificial goat. First of all, the band moniker is just dumb. Even for a black metal moniker, it just reeks of cheese and urine. Sadistik Exekution had a cool moniker (I don’t think you need to ask what it was, since I just mentioned the band), but can we please stop replacing c with k and i with y for just once in our meaningless lives?
Yes, I was tired and somewhat grumpy for some reason before reviewing this, and I expected this album to suck a penis with more body mass than the United States of America. But thankfully, I was pleasantly surprised. The double-double-ew is a good band. Very good. A lot of the time I get images of castles, fairies, vampires and… yes, witches. But that ain’t so bad. It was only the spelling of this band’s moniker that raped my goat.
The symphonic and guitar tunes are blended together very effectively. The guitar provides a great overtone, while the keyboard patterns are very subtle but audible enough to augment the music beautifully. They sound pretty killer too. They sound like something Limbonic Art could have used in any of their albums.
This album reminds me a lot of Dimmu Borgir’s “Stormblåst” with a beefed up production. It’s nothing like the disastrous remake though. The vocalist sounds like a bastard child of Gollum and a witch. Not because of the name, but because of, you know, how the vocals sound. Many people will probably hate them, but I for one don’t mind them. In fact I kinda like them sometimes. And the fact that they come from a female must be a bonus, right?
Wykked Wytch uses a movie sample that The Project Hate used (in “Awakened” in the case of the Wytch and in “The Bleeding Eyes Of A Breeding Whore” in the case of the Hate) that goes along the lines of “I believe in torture and anger… and hate.” Something like that, anyway. What movie was that from? I’d like to check it out someday. You didn’t think I was going to say their music is anything like the Hate’s music, did you? Fuck that, nothing sounds like TPH! (Note by The Lord: That’s mah boy. Can I have my penis back now? Oh, and the movie is “The exorcist 3”, I think)
By the way, check out the photos on the band’s bio page if you need a good laugh. I also like the album cover. It looks like a giant glob of blood exploded from that chick’s vagina.
6 out of 10, but change your moniker. Please?
- Information
- Released: 2008
- Label: Perish Music Group
- Website: www.wykkedwytch.com
- Band
- Ipek: vocals
- Gio: guitar
- Matt: guitar
- Kenny: bass
- Chris: drums
- Salvatore: keyboards
- Tracklist
- 01. Memories Of A Dying Whore
- 02. Desperation
- 03. Bloodstained Tears
- 04. Awakened
- 05. Suffering Through The Years
- 06. Wishing Sickness
- 07. Sweet Dreams
- 08. Plagued By Delusions
- 09. Shrouded In Ash
- 10. Beneath Our Skin