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Septekh: The seth avalanche

22/06/12  ||  Smalley

I imagine a “Seth avalanche” would be something like (besides an unimaginably bad name for a metal record) this. Seth Rogen actually is funny, but “avalanche” is not. You see, a person getting sterilized is a bad thing, and a record’s production getting sterilized is almost as bad; this album has one of those awful “blank ‘ roll” knob jobs, where they take some random extreme metal genre and try to make it sound friendlier (and fail). This one sounds more “black ‘n roll” than anything else, and is also weak; a punchless, clean-buzz guitar sound, an often-annoying, dog yip vocalist, and boring, neutered riffs make it a weak, unmemorable experience. Some tracks are more aggressive than others, but either style on “avalanche” fails to move me at all, in any way except apathy. A few sections do satisfy, but they’re basically just a drop in the bucket here, and don’t really fix anything. At least that earns them an extra half-point, I guess.

5.5/10: Heard (seen) worse music (tits).